You may have heard the term “soul ties” before. Most assume these are always negative and the result of sexual relationships. But there’s so much more to them than that. Some are ungodly soul ties, and others are Godly. So, what exactly are they?
What are Soul Ties?
A soul tie is any relationship where two become one, in mind, body, emotions, or heart. It’s an invisible umbilical cord that ties you to another person.
Soul ties are actually a healthy and essential part of God’s plan for human relationships. A soul tie is the joining or knitting together of the bonds of a relationship by the Holy Spirit.
Godly soul ties occur when like-minded believers are together in the Lord: friends, marriage partners, believers to pastors, and others. Examples of Godly soul ties are in Genesis. 2:24, Mark 10:8, and Ephesians 5:31.
What is an Ungodly Soul Tie?
If you’ve ever felt controlled, manipulated, or dominated, or frustrated by memories of a previous relationship, you’re probably dealing with an ungodly soul tie. Ungodly soul ties are counterfeit to God’s plan and are enforced by demons meant to enslave us. (1 Cor. 6:16) When we step outside of God’s boundaries for relationships we can form an ungodly soul tie.
Godly and ungodly soul ties can form with the following people:
- Romantic or Sexual Partners
- Domineering Authorities
- Pastors (depending on them before God)
- Abusive Relationships
If you or someone else crosses the boundary of a healthy relationship, an ungodly soul tie can form. When ungodly soul ties or unhealthy attachments with another person is in effect, it can bring about a spiritual control that can adversely affect your life.
Ungodly (unhealthy) soul ties can lead to codependency in more extreme cases. Codependency is an excessive reliance on other people for approval and a sense of identity.
Some examples you might recognize are:
- A mother who refuses to relinquish her hold on her children (tied to her apron strings)
- A person who refuses to release to the Lord the memory of an old romantic flame (withdrawing into nostalgia in times of loneliness)
- Holding a grudge, anger, or a judgment against another person. If someone is holding a grudge against you, you can break the soul tie.
- Someone who uses spiritual forces to control others (witchcraft) or manipulation.
- Agendas or something we can’t let go of and binds us to seducing spirits.
- Secrecy and gossip can form soul ties. It binds you together with another individual and shuts others out.
- Parents who meddle in their adult children’s lives in a destructive way.
- An adult that’s a “momma’s boy” or a “daddy’s girl” that negatively affects the marriage.
How do you know if you’re dealing with one? There will be symptoms.
Symptoms of an Ungodly Soul Tie with Someone
- Breakdown in Communication. You’ll stop talking. You can’t talk without fighting. Our communication style becomes manipulative and demeaning. It is almost always the first symptom of ungodly soul ties.
- Identity Loss. You won’t know who you are. We take on those labels, and then we lose our identity. Haman had an ungodly soul tie to Mordecai. He became obsessed with the idea of destroying Mordecai and annihilating his people. “When Haman saw that Mordecai would not kneel or pay him honor, he was enraged.” – Esther 3:5
- Not Recognizing Humanity in Others. Feeling like nobody gets you. Being treated or treating people as commodities instead of individuals, a thing that can be sold and bought, used, and abused. Controlling and manipulative behavior could indicate a soul tie.
- Don’t Recognize Suffering. You’re numb, callous, or indifferent to another’s suffering.
- Shame. You feel like a mistake. Shame is the MOST destructive symptom of ungodly soul ties because it makes you feel like you ARE a MISTAKE. Shame makes it easy for someone else to abuse you because you’ll believe you deserve it. Shame ultimately leads to cowardice and fear.
- Cowardice. You’re anxious about everything. Cowardice tells you you’re helpless and don’t bother trying and sounds like, “I can’t!” Cowardice conditions you to always be the victim and makes it easier for predators to take advantage.
- Stereotyping. You don’t see people for who they are. Stereotypes cause you to paint everyone with the same brush.
Also, pay attention to your dreams. The Lord can reveal a hidden unhealthy soul tie in our sleep.
Fruit of an Unhealthy Soul Tie
- Irrational thinking, not capable of reasoning, having lost mental clarity, illogical.
- Evaluate yourself and others according to a previous context.
- Shutting down emotionally.
- Unhealthy, unnatural desire or attraction to people, places, and things, even to your detriment. Obsession is the extreme fruit of a soul tie.
- Lacking judgment and discernment.
- The inability to establish and maintain proper adult relationships.
- Low self-esteem.
- Poor boundaries.
- Reactivity to people’s thoughts and feelings.
- Caretaking of someone else’s problems of feeling like it’s your job to fix someone.
- Control. You start to control or someone controls you.
Take Back the Power and Cut the Cord
- Acknowledge the Ungodly soul ties in your life.
- Confess and repent of them.
- Forgive those who bound you.
- Break and separate from them (if directed to by Holy Spirit).
You might need to break an unhealthy soul tie after a divorce, the end of a friendship, leaving a workplace, or grieving the loss of a relationship. If you recognize an ungodly soul tie in your life, it’s time to pray!
Prayer to Break Ungodly Soul Ties
Instructions: Make sure you do this ALL OUT LOUD! Think of it as giving testimony in a court case. Testimony is always given out loud.
The enemy is a legalist who has brought charges against you. He’s the prosecutor. Jesus is your attorney and the Father is the Judge. By confessing this out loud, you are taking back the ground he stole and grabbing hold of what is already yours because of the death and resurrection of Jesus.
Now, let’s get started!
Lord, I ask you to reveal to my mind right now the names of all those that I have an ungodly soul tie with.
(Pause and list any names that come to mind. When no more names are coming to you continue with the following prayer):
Lord, I confess that I have had unhealthy attachments to other people and relationships that are ungodly in nature. I now repent for violating Your boundaries in relationships. Thank you for your forgiveness and cleansing.
“In the name of Jesus Christ, I now renounce, break and loose myself from all control enforced by the enemy in my relationships and any ungodly soul ties and unhealthy bondings with the following people:
________________________ (Name each person on your list).
“Lord, I ask you to do whatever it takes to break me of my tendencies toward uncontrollable thoughts, domination, control, passivity, apathy, unforgiveness, anger, blame, accusations, fear, intimidation, and disobedience in relationships.
“Finally, in the name of Jesus Christ, I declare every hold of the enemy in my life that has come as a result of unhealthy soul ties, null and void. I renounce all unclean soul tie spirits & command you to depart from my spirit, soul & body! In Jesus’ Name. Amen!”
NOTE: Sometimes it is necessary to rid our homes of any objects connected to these people, for example, jewelry or other gifts. Ask the Lord if that is needed.
Want more? Learn more about inner vows and how they affect your walk with God. Stay tuned for more inner healing and freedom ministry articles!